A Passion for Quantum

Lately I have been working on something that I don't particularly enjoy. Understandably, I have had difficulty feeling motivated. However, today I was reminded of one motivation that I can find as long as I am willing to think about it. We all have a passion. Some people thoroughly enjoy painting pictures. Others find joy in writing stories. Others of us find joy in what may seem the strangest things. I was asking my father exactly what it is he does at his work. As he began to explain I became incredibly excited. He is a chemical engineer who is figuring out how to mass produce something that some genius men figured out how to make. They figured out how to (as I term it) "trick" an element. As he explained it I remembered how much I absolutely love the idea of quantum mechanics! This is my passion. So no matter how much I may dislike what I have to do every day I can always turn to quantum. It keeps life exciting and gives me a reason to keep thinking. So although this motivation may not relate specifically to anyone else I know that we all have a passion that we can turn to. We can make life better and remember how to love life!

When Disappointment, Fear, and Grief are Gone

"Be Still My Soul" is a classic hymn that everyone loves to hear. Tonight I heard it again at a fireside I went to and it was beautiful. This song always has a different meaning to me though.

Two years ago my grandmother passed away. She had not been doing so great for a while and it was a good thing that she could escape her state. However, she left her husband, my grandfather, behind. My grandfather began wondering if there even is a life after this. He doubted everything he had taught everyone else for years. In his heart he knew it was true, but having his sweetheart taken from him was extremely difficult. I cried because he cried. For a year he suffered in pain of old age and in pain of having lost his wife. On a Saturday morning I received a call that my grandfather had passed away, almost exactly a year after my grandmother had passed away. I was sad, but I knew that it was better this way.

The next day in church I got up to sing with the ward choir. We were singing "Be Still My Soul", which I was nervous about because I have heard it butchered many times. However, the choir sounded beautiful. When we reached the third verse we sang the words "The hour is hast'ning on when we shall be forever with the Lord, when disappointment, fear, and grief are gone, sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored." It was at that moment that I realized that I should not mourn for my grandfather. He had reached this hour. The pain he had felt for a year was gone. He did not have to be disappointed when he woke up and my grandmother was no longer there. He did not have to fear that he would never see her again. He did not have to grieve another moment. He was free!

This is my motivation today. There is a life after this one. When a loved one dies then we will see them again. It may hurt now and seem unbearable, but loves purest joys will be destroyed. My grandfather lived in the terrible state describe by the song for a year. We constantly prayed for him, but there was nothing we could do. The hour came when it all disappeared. He is ok now! So even when life gets hard and you don't feel like you can carry on remember that the hour is hastening on. This too shall pass.

Had a Bad Day Again...

We all have bad days. Those days that you wish just wouldn't happen, but would go away and stop haunting you. Those days when you pray for some reason to be joyful and happy. Those days when life gets too confusing to deal with. When you just want to stop everything and go to your happy place, but you can't. Those are the hard days.
This last week I was reminded of a song called "Bad Day". Not the song by Daniel Powter that everyone will remember, but a song from the 90's by Fuel. It describes a man's frustration at not being able to help someone on their bad day.

"Spilled her coffee
Broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face.
Left a note that said,
'I'm sorry I had a bad day again.'
She said I would not understand."

In my life I am grateful that I do know that someone understands. There are people all around who love us and want to help. Do not shut them out on the bad days. Allow them to serve you because they truly can help. Perhaps they do not truly understand, but know that someone does. There's someone who understands exactly what you are going through and how you feel about it. The Savior loves you and understands. He knows how you feel and what you need. Do not leave Him a note telling Him He won't understand. He Can Help!
I have one more comfort on my bad days. There is always something to be grateful for, which is a shining moment that can bring joy if only for a moment. I personally adore the smell of freshly cut grass. During the summer I can normally find some place where I can smell such a glorious smell. It's never anything big on the bad days, but there are hundreds of small things that can brighten my day if I just look for them. This is what motivates me. The small reminders that life is still good.

The Pink Elephant...

Have you ever seen a pink elephant try and hide? I haven't, but this picture helps me imagine it a little bit more. As much as the elephant may try it will never be able to hide itself completely. It will always be showing in some way.
I suppose this needs and explanation. A few months back I was discussing a talk by Dieter F Uchtdorf with a friend. My friend immediately recognized the talk I was thinking of as a talk on pride. They told me that they normally try to ignore the big pink elephant that is constantly in the room. I thought about it and it's true. My friend does try to hide the elephant. However, no matter how hard they try they can't hide it completely. I then wondered about myself.
I have a pink elephant that follows me around. Sometimes I like to pretend that I can conquer the pink elephant, but then I realize that in the act the pink elephant is standing right beside me! It is just one of those things in life that I haven't figured out yet. However, sometimes my pink elephant gets taken away for a moment or two. These are not moments of rejoicing however. It is then that I realize that I am an idiot! I don't know what I'm doing! I really don't know anything at all and there are millions of people in this world who are much better than I am!
So why is this on my motivation blog? To be truly motivated I need a goal. I need something to work on that I cannot accomplish on my own. This is my goal. Someday I will be able to look my pink elephant square in the face and tell it to go away. I do not see it as a huge rejoicing experience, but rather a quiet understanding. Someday I will not have to feel the pain of my pink elephant being taken away. I will just be free!